


Uno, Bitch

by silver_fish



Category: Tales of Berseria
Genre: Crack, Drunk Shenanigans, Gen, poor laphicet he is Tired, rokurou and magilou are freakign alcoholics, squad plays uno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:52:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15421359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_fish/pseuds/silver_fish
Summary: Velvet invites her friends over for a game night.She regrets the decision very, very quickly.





	Uno, Bitch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inabsurd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inabsurd/gifts).



> i didn't want to post this but bianca and i made a deal so here it is. it's Bad thanks for clicking tho

It’s Eleanor who proposes the idea.

“I feel like we never just stay in,” she says, in  _ that _ voice, that  _ Eleanor _ voice, the one that makes Velvet wonder if she is within her legal rights to punch the girl just for being condescending as hell.

But Rokurou and Eizen agree very quickly, and Velvet knows that if they agree, then…

“I think it sounds like a good idea!” Laphicet throws in brightly. “We could make snacks for everyone and have a game night!”

“Oh, at Velvet’s house?” Magilou seems quite pleased by this. “I think that’s a  _ marvelous _ idea. I can bring over my favourite games, and--”

“No,” Velvet says. “Nobody even invited you.”

Magilou pouts, and Laphicet looks up at Velvet with that perfect puppy look, and there is really no doubt about it:

Velvet is hosting a game night at her house.

They plan it for the following weekend, which unfortunately comes much faster than Velvet would like. She and Laphicet buy chips and soda, setting it out and hoping that they won’t all be gone the second Magilou and Rokurou arrive. As well, Laphicet makes cookies, because he wants to make sure there is something made with love for everybody. Velvet secretly thinks that it should be enough of a testament to their love that they would even invite these people into their home, but she helps him bake them, nonetheless.

The first to arrive is Eleanor, and Eizen shortly thereafter. Magilou and Rokurou are, unsurprisingly, late.

When they knock on the door, Velvet is prepared to chew them out as she opens it, but falls short seeing they are both holding black bags.

“We brought the fun stuff!” Magilou declares. “Let us in!”

“Is that  _ booze _ ?”

“Yes? Let us in, come on!”

“We’ll drink an appropriate amount,” Rokurou promises. “Don’t worry! We can hold our alcohol.”

“Oh, for--” She stops, sighs. “ _ Fine _ , but I’m not responsible for anything  _ you _ do while wasted.”

“We won’t get wasted,” Magilou and Rokurou say together, pushing past her.

But that was a little over an hour ago, now, and all of them excluding Laphicet are sufficiently, for lack of better word,  _ wasted _ .

“Uno,  _ bitch _ !”

“You still have seven cards!”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Eleanor picks up Rokurou’s cards off the table, all but the one he is waving dramatically in his hand, and pushes them in his face.

“Oh. Hey, Velvet! I think Eleanor is cheating?”

“I am not!” Eleanor says hotly. “You’re just too stupid to see further than what’s right in front of your eyes!”

“Please don’t fight,” Laphicet says. He sounds very tired. “It’s Eizen’s turn.”

“I really don’t think this is my game,” Eizen mutters, picking up  _ another _ card from the withdrawal pile.

“How many is that?” Rokurou asks. “Seventy?”

“Sixty-nine,” Eizen grumbles.

Everyone else around the table laugh hysterically at this.

“Your turn, squirt!” Magilou enthuses, peeking over Laphicet’s shoulder. “Oh, play that one, play that one!”

“You’re not supposed to look at other people’s cards,” Velvet tells her, glaring at the girl over Laphicet.

“It’s okay,” Laphicet says, placing a card on the table.

Pick-up four.

Velvet scowls, but does as the card directs her. “Did you choose this one, Magilou?”

“I may have,” she says mischievously.

“I would watch your back for a few days, then,” Velvet informs her, laying down a blocker card, causing Eleanor to huff at her.

“Uno this time, yeah?” Rokurou asks, putting down  _ six _ cards on the pile.

“What the fuck, Rokurou.”

“I will shove those cards up your  _ ass _ ,” Velvet seethes. “Play the game  _ properly _ .”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Rokurou muses. “Though I’m sure there are other things that would be better.”

The girls and Eizen groan.

“Maybe we should just quit,” Laphicet ventures nervously.

“Quit?” Magilou laughs. “No way! We don’t  _ quit _ , ever. Someone’s gotta win, and it’s gonna be me!”

“Yeah, right,” Eleanor says with a scoff, picking up five of Rokurou’s cards and forcing them into his hand.

“The only thing you’re going to win at,” Eizen says, “is losing.”

“That makes no sense!” Magilou complains. “Whatever! Keep going, then!”

Eizen picks up another card, then victoriously sets it atop the pile.

“Uno!” Magilou cries, putting a card above Eizen’s.

The rest of the table stares at her.

“Since when did you have so few cards?” Velvet demands.

“Since last turn, obviously.”

But Velvet doesn’t even remember her  _ playing _ a card last turn.

“Whatever,” she says, sighing. “Phi…?”

He puts down another fuckign pick-up four, shooting her an apologetic yet somehow very gleeful smile.

She throws her cards down. “I give  _ up _ .”

“Velvet, no!”

She cannot deny Laphicet anything.

She picks up the cards and plays.

Eleanor plays, and then stops Rokurou from playing all his cards at once. For once, Eizen doesn’t have to pick up a card, and then.

“Winner, winner, chicken dinner!”

“Bullshit,” Velvet spits as Magilou throws her final card down.”You must have cheated.”

“I am a woman of my word!” Magilou insists. “Honest to my very core!”

“Yeah, right,” the rest mutter.

She pouts.

“I should’ve won,” Rokurou says sadly. “I only had one left, you know.”

“You  _ didn’t _ , though,” Eleanor says, exasperated.

“Well, I did until you  _ cheated _ .”

“I definitely lost,” Eizen says, laying his cards on the table.

“I thought you were good at cards,” Velvet remembers. “Aren’t you?”

“Usuaully.” Eizen grimaces. “I guess my luck doesn’t stretch to Uno.”

“Your luckdoesn’t stretch to much,” Magilou says sympathetically. “Well, that’s that! I guess we should get--”

She stands, and as they watch, familiar cards fall from her large sleeves.

They stare, and she looks down at them, eyes wide. “Oh, dear. How did those get th--?”

“Magilou!” Velvet rages, standing up. “You  _ did _ cheat!”

“It’s not what it looks like! These are from my last game of Uno, you see, and I was just holding them for a--”

Velvet grabs the cards off of the table and shoves them threateningly in Magilou’s face. “I’m not afraid to use these!”

“It might be a good idea to run,” Eizen advises, but Magilou is already hurrying for the door.

Velvet chases her out, cards held tightly in her hand. As she closes the front door behind her, she hears Laphicet ask, very tired-sounding, “So...cookies?”


End file.
